Thursday, April 7, 2011

Where my head's at...

okay so my post title sounds odd even to me... (I blame all the stuffy head/sinus meds I'm on) but I guess I just wanted to do a little post that's actually about me and not about some project I'm working on even though I'm WAY behind on blog designs and other DIY projects I have laying around (much to Michael's dismay).

So I'm loving being glasses free first off :) My eyes are doing great post Lasik and today I used my new eyeshadow from Sephora by Two Faced and I'm in LOVE! I'll have to do a post on that one later. This weekend I'm going to be at a confirmation retreat for my church. Myself and a friend, Kyle, are the catechists this year and it's been very eye opening to say the least. Of a group of 26 sophomores, when we asked how many of them believed that Jesus Christ is the son of God only THREE raised their hands!!! WOW.... talk about a slap in the face. I mean these are kids that we see every Sunday at church, some of them are ushers or alter boys, eucharistic ministers, etc. so HOW can they not believe the most base belief of Christianity?

I left our second class feeling totally defeated and at a loss. What could I do to make a difference to these kids? I can not at all relate to them because growing up with an alcoholic father I quickly learned to rely on God and prayed fervently for his protection and guidance. I've always loved the Catholic Church and our traditions and God has continued to reveal himself to me throughout my life.

We've continued to meet monthly for hours at a time but this weekend is our last "class". Getting the kids away from all the distractions of their busy lives and away from TV and cell phones. I'm sort of looking forward to it but I'm also dreading it. I just don't want to have my heart broken. Then I start to think... WOW, if it pains me this much to see these kids hearts be unchanged then what must this feel like for the Lord, the one who loves us more then we can even begin to understand. My heart breaks just knowing that His heart is breaking.

Please keep these kids in your prayers that they will have open hearts and be accepting of the Holy Spirit so they may come to know Him.

The other thing weighing on me right now is our adoption situation. Since we weren't selected for C*** we haven't had any info on any other children. I know matched adoption for our age range is a long wait already but it's made worse by the fact that when a child does become available there are usually multiple families in the "running" to parent them. I'm really enjoying our Ezra and Mommy time but really want him to have a sibling. I've been ready to adopt again since the day we brought Ezra home which was over 2 years ago so I feel like I've been waiting forever! I know this is God's plan and some days I'm grateful for only having to manage one child but I LOVE being a mom and I just really want more kiddos running around!

3 comments:

HeArts Ministry said...

Prayer is SO powerful. :)

-Heather L.

Andrea said...

Any early congrats on the Confirmation Retreat! You will walk out of there feeling closer to God - and so will all the teens. I love the sacraments!

Don't worry - your next child will be with you before you know it!

Paula said...

Oh, Becky, that hurts my heart about those kids... I taught CCD for six years, and by middle school some of the kids are just so darn cynical already, but gosh... only 3? That just seems unbelievable. So sad. I'm praying for those kids to feel Jesus in their hearts and to experience the joy of full communion with the Church! They are lucky to have a dedicated catechist like you. Praying for just the right child to find your family too. It's a tough wait, I know. Hang in there.